Awareness of Pain: A Post With Many Links

I think that most people who read this blog with any sense of fairness will recognize that I advocate much more sweeping and radical constitutional change in the United States than almost anyone with prominent access to prominent media advocates. It is a basic truism (and almost a basic truth) that in order to justify advocating  radical change a responsible person must have already found or must promptly find very serious problems and dangers that justify undertaking the risks inherent in making large changes. It is also fair to assume that regular readers will notice that in fact I have often pointed out very serious problems in this country. This post is about the awareness of those problems and dangers which beset our country. 

There is a film which by using Homer’s Odyssey set in the south of this country shows a bit of the gritty reality of our near past. It is part of a method of a awareness to watch such films and in that film there is song. The song does not  reflect the situation in the film. Go to the next link to find the film However, these lyrics are not taken directly from the film.

“Oh Brother Where Art Thou?” http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190590/

Big Rock Candy Mountain

        C                                    F                     C
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, there’s a land that’s bright and fair,
           F               C                   Am               G7
For the doughnuts grow on bushes, and there’s lots of cookies there,
         C                                F                C
For the dogs and cats are happy, and the sun shines every day,
            F         C              F          C
There are birds and bees, and the bubble-gum trees,
         F         C                    F         C
by the lemonade springs, where the whippoorwill sings
        G7                C
in the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

It seems a pleasant and fun place doesn’t it? Yet we also live in beautiful world and being aware of it and what endangers it is also a sacred trust. Here is a post where I linked to others sharing the burden and duty of that awareness:  https://franksummers3ba.wordpress.com/2010/06/04/bp-spill-environmental-awareness-links-questions/ 

Let’s get back to that song set in a film reworking Homer’s Odyssey with slightly different lyrics longer and a bit more on our point but similar. 

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, the houses are built of blocks
And the little streams of sody pop come trickling down the rocks,
The soldiers there are made of lead, and they are very brave,
There’s a lake of stew, and ice cream too
You can paddle all around in a paper canoe,
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

If the soldiers were all made of lead one cannot help but wonder if it would be less important to fight just wars nobly and to seek peace. If ice cream fell like snow and lakes were full of stew then perhaps our agriculture and employment policy would matter less.  But for now we must be aware of how living things, people and communities do find their sustenance. Here is a post where I linked to others who were making us aware of what was at risk in the BP-Macondo Oil Leak:  https://franksummers3ba.wordpress.com/2010/06/03/the-bp-transocean-gushers-risk-some-links-and-notes/

Now, we can return to  song which stands in for many other points of view. I recall, but have not checked, that in the film Brother Where Art Thou? they used the version of the song where the word “frogs” is replaced with “cops”. I think the cops version is the original there would be less food in a world where frog legs were toothpicks and that does not go with the song. On the other hand for someone who wants a free lunch the world would be more abundant if there were only cops with wooden legs and bulldogs with rubber teeth keeping him from other people’s property. 

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, the frogs have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth,
and the hens lay hard-boiled eggs
There’s chocolate pie in all the trees, and jam in all the lakes,
Oh, I’m going to go where the wind don’t blow,
there’s a big free show, and candy snow,
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

The song is fun. Living in a world where policy is made on the basis of the idea the song represents but reality is what it is  would not  be fun for a whole lot of people. In many ways that is the world we live in today. Below is a link to a biographical entry describing the life and work of the physician who discovered that the horrors and deformities of leprosy must be understood almost entirely as resulting from the victim’s loss of sensitivity to pain.  

The Wikipedia Biography of Paul Wilson Brand: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Wilson_Brand

The use of leprosy and its horrors as a metaphor for the results of many of the ills of humanity and  society are not starting with this blog post. In fact the next link is one to a poll as to whether the denial of sin by atheists is precisely that kind of leprosy  we are discussing:

http://jyte.com/cl/pain-insensitivity-is-to-lepers-as-denial-of-sin-is-to-athiests

Old Testament prophets decrying impiety and humanity, Romantic poets decrying the loss of understanding of nature, Revolutionaries decrying the loss of national integrity or sanity — these are  all examples of a nation’s pain response and awareness. Life is made less frivolous and harder because of the pain we feel when we want to lose ourselves in the moment or the life time of doing whatever it is we would rather be doing. Documentarians have played an important role in recent decades and over much of the last century in pointing out what is wrong  with the world — a useful thing to know.

The first shows a part of the truth of how America becoming play obsessed and focused only on market discipline can play out in a complex world. There is a lot more that is only hinted at such as the destruction of some of the local Mardi Gras and Carnival traditions by visitors who only come for debauchery without the limits of traditions. There is also the fact that things may be much worse than the show portrays in China since they are not exposing anything but what they are told willingly enough. 

Chinese workers export Mardi Gras in Mardi Gras Made in Chinahttp://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436569/

The second film shows how complex struggles of oil and gas profits, ethnic values and wetlands management affect all of Louisiana and the nation. However, this is done in the context of a close-up portrayal of a few crawfishermen in the Atchafalaya who are not even filmed in an entirely accurate or honest way. The film is in many ways anti-Acadian in it biases and is only forced in the other direction by Katrina. The tendency is to represent swampers as typical Acadians and to represent all swampers as more cut-off from the larger economy than they are. But regardless of where it comes from it says good things with important images.

Angels of the Basin:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1338547/

Then we have the vast problem of angry,ignorant and hate-filled black racist destroying this country in so many ways with the support and formation that has poured in from the west-hating Moslem world for centuries but especially the last fifty years. We ignore all the signs and are headed to destruction but at least our reports give us some of the relevant factoids:  

Omar Thornton ‘s recent shooting is a good example: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20012557-504083.html

However, we have many others as well. We can turn to Wikipedia to remember the Fort Hood Shooting. However let us not remember how much racial-ethnic and religious and social forms of non-awareness contributed to this disaster. The way we have handled the aftermath is a terrible disgrace as well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fort_Hood_shooting

Then we have two movies that show a somewhat unfavorable vision of the military and those who serve in it as well as showing why the enemy would not be so ready to flee at their approach. However, the movies are also full both of whole and partial truths as well as humane insights.  I recommend watching them both with a critical eye  but not disparaging the critical eye they turn towards our country and armed forces.

The Lucky Ones: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0981072/

Brothers: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765010/

The truth is that we have so very much to do as soon as possible if we are to be in any way successful as a society. We have many enemies and competitors around the world who will try to keep us from making and then securing the right transitions. However, we are full of internal problems that are far more dangerous. The time to act is here and will not last forever. However, awareness of the pain is the first step towards healing the wounds and pains.

In the models for change I have described here I have set forth a path that can lead to a btter future. But getting there will not be cheap and easy.

Happy Birthday to the US Head of State

I wish Barack Hussein Obama a happy birthday. We may not agree on a lot of key things in addition to my objections to his presidency that are not related to ideas. However, he is currently the President of the United States and therefore I wish him a happy birthday. I hope has a good day doing good thins well with people he finds agreeable.

BP Begins Static Kill of Well: Stage Two

I have occasionally offered links to a BP site but not really given them the primary spot on anything as long as their oil was continuing to spew ever more death into the Gulf of Mexico. However, they now claim that they have initiated static kill and are also trying to remain engaged in clean-up and recovery. So I thought this was the time after many other posts to allow them the principal and premiere position to describe their situation and operations. Here is that link:  http://bp.concerts.com/gom/houma_command_center_update_073110.htm

In addition to all that we have to address from this spill and ongoing challenges we have to face the fact the human and political challenges are ongoing and very serious as well. There is no limit to the  amount of confusion and conflict which can bedevil our efforts to find the right way forward.  Already we see the Senate shying away from the onerous aspects of the process we must undergo to find resolution: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0810/40597.html

I am regarding all these more than one hundred days of activity as the first phase. Today we enter the second phase. It will be interesting to see how ell we can handle it in this world of flawed and busy people working in flawed and busy systems. But for now we can hope for the best.

Six Young People Die in Louisiana’s Red River

It appears that six young people from two families have drowned in the Red River today. None of the young people could swim and they were on a sand bar in a natural river recreating. Apparently one of the drowning youth, a fourteen year old, was rescued. This was in North Louisiana.  The drowned  teens were all apparently both black and African-Americans. One young person who was not of such a description and may or may not have participated in the successful rescue of the one that did survive reported losing another victim he was attempting to rescue from beneath the waters. Yahoo News has the basic story on video and in text: http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/21202902. I wonder how many ways issues of race affect this story and are  important to policy but are not being considered. The good probability that blacks in the age of Obama found directives about anything distasteful and not worth their time is pretty high. Not learning to swim and endangering themselves and other have a racial element.

In addition to this, I saw a report in which a young woman was injured severely, and may still die, from being dropped one hundred feet on to the ground instead of released on to a net from a similar distance. The girl’s father was a doctor.  He claims she was dead when he got to her. There is a story with some illustrations at this site: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/08/03/earlyshow/main6738986.shtml?tag=contentMain;contentAux

Here it seems to me one has to at least consider some other things as upsetting as suggesting that Black Teen culture may have reached all the way to rural Louisiana to help kill those six kids. A culture of short-cuts may have squeezed the life out of these black Americans, if in fact all were black and even if only one family was black. Here in the park I would want to consider cold-blooded murder as a possibility. I would want to examine all the reasons why it might have happened. Presumably it is an act of negligence or recklessness in a social context. But the act itself was a near execution. I think cold-blooded murder and thrill-killing deserve to be considered.

This blog is written by someone who is moving a little further from the stream and flow of daily American life with each passing year. But if we are reaching appoint where we cannot ask ugly questions that the ugly facts may suggest in ugly situations then we truly are dooming ourselves in yet another way.

Blogs and Newspapers, Among Other Things

August 2, 2010 was the most viewed day on this blog up to now. One can’t help wondering however if someone’s pet happened to keep clicking the button on a computer. I have written for paid by stand and subscriber publications without advertising. I have also written for traditional American newspapers paid by both advertising and purchase and I have written for papers given out for free but funded by advertising. All of those give one a greater connection to reality than a blog like this does. First of all one can drive around and see one;s  work on newsstands and on tables and in hands and there is no doubt that it has been distributed. I know a lot of people and some of them are quite honest. However, I also know some of the most committed deceivers around and it is not inconceivable that a few of them could click a way at my blog to run up my markers. There is always some advantage to distorting one’s opponent’s view of  reality.  

It is also true that this blog is more personal even than a column.  I really do whatever the heck I want. One joy of newspaper writing is that even a truly honest person (and lets face it few of us are always in that category) can usually blame some of  his or her work’s worst faults on someone else.  Here,  I could clearly do better on almost any given measure if I personally undertook what was necessary to improve.

Another big difference in this blog is that I can and do add lots of links on some days and everyone reading it can choose to click-through to other sites. While in magazines and newspapers mostly one must deal with all one has to say in one place.

Another advantage (and also a disadvantage) is that I can go back and correct my blog posts here. There is not that chance with newspaper and magazine articles.

All of these little differences add up to create an enormously different experience. The differences are even greater and more numerous than I have suggested. Here a wide variety of my personality traits and writing interests are brought together in one place. In this blog I lack the attraction provided by numerous other writers, photographers and editors contributing to the work each day.

But the physical limits are the most different of all. There is so little certainty about where, how and if one’s writing and other work is being read and scanned. In some cases however, this can be a real blessing. One hears from someone who enjoyed a piece they would not likely ever have seen in a printed venue. It seems to me that all mass media have their place in the world.

We really sort of need film, newspapers, magazines, radio, blogs and other venues to make the world we have become function. I am adjusting to blogging a little at a time.  Whether making that adjustment will turn out to have been a good or bad idea and process will not be clear to me for a long time.  The blog provides a great outlet for expression for me right now. It will take a bit longer to see whether it provides a really good means of communication.

Looking at the BP Macondo Oil Leak Today

Here is a list of observations and factoids related to the BP oil leak as of right now. This is kind of quick and slap dash but here they are for your consideration:

1. Depending how you measure the same coastline can be measure as 1,000 miles long or 500,ooo miles long. However, at least 500 miles of Gulf of Mexico coastline have been at least partly oiled.

2. At least 3,500 wild animals have been documented as killed by the oil leak.

3. Eleven men lost their lives in the initial explosion and at least two others have died in related post explosion events.

4. Rescued animals have still been lost to local areas in order to save their lives.

5. Many thousands of fishermen, shrimpers, oyster farmers, crabbers and sports guides have lost work.

6. Many seaside hotels and resorts have lost business.

7. Seafood processors, brokers, shippers and restaurants have lost business.

8. Suppliers of sport fishing and hospitality and travel industries have lost business.

9.  The oil and gas industry in the Gulf of Mexico has lost money due to the moratorium and have caused workers to lose paychecks.

10. Pollution assessment and clean-up are still not completely designed and defined for completion.

11. There are some good effects of all this tough questioning and thinking going on that are hard to assess just yet.

12. My blog is back to normal almost.

More Blog Stuff…

I mentioned the patterns in views of this blog in my last post.  I am mentioning in this post that I have added several pages today. Two pages relate to Frank Summers sections and are more or less biographical or autobiographical pages.  I posted some images of documents and so they would ordinarily be in the images section. But the things pictured relate mostly and directly to my  curriculum vitae. To offset this I included a page of text only in my Space Drawings section.  In addition to  these page, I have upgraded the Web Helm page and made some minor changes in other pages that I think will make this better.

It is worth noting that I am not commenting at Lords of the Blog anymore. The reasons are complex. I still am posting a link now and then on the Norton View. However I have not been posting text comments.  My e-novel account is fairly static for now — I have to figure out what to do next. The original novel draft is done.

I think that the quality of Twitter followers is quite excellent but there are not very many of them.  I do have pretty many Facebook friends and if you mention reading the blog I will usually let you join the list. That is another factor and medium of contact with me. I am also still a bit active in e-mail correspondence. However,  the center of what I am doing on the internet these days seems to be this blog.

Thanks, Congratulations and/or Whatever…

May was the second most viewed month that this blog had enjoyed since its inception. The sole month which surpassed it was October, 2009.  Then June was the most viewed month in the history of the blog but only beat out the earlier record by a slim margin of a few percent of total views. This month which has not yet ended as I post this, but is only hours from ending, is the most viewed ever. The number of views is multiple double-digit percentages of increase over the previous record.  I am not claiming that this is predictive not do I know the origin of more than a few dozen of the thousands of view in the total history of the blog. However, I would like to thank readers for pushing us up past this milestone. You notice I am not mentioning total numbers. Let us just say that I used to occasionally grace a front page that received tens of thousands of paying customers views and this is not in that league at all. I do appreciate those of you who stop by on any given day — including this one.

Summers Axioms: A collection of short laws on different subjects

Pro-Crime Legislation…

1. Where there is an established conflict between the law-abiding and criminals outlawing anything used in that conflict is a great benefit to the criminals.

The Dog in the Manger Fable Applied …

2. The one who takes responsibility and protects his office but does not fulfill his responsibilities very well often makes the problems he was supposed to solve much worse than if nobody was responsible.

A Map is a Map …

3. Having a simplistic model of a complex situation is often helpful. Acting as though the simple model is the complex situation is often evil.

Prisons are full of those who believe they are innocent…. 

4. Just because you do not believe in evil does not mean you are not evil.

Lazy governments want to resolve conflict. A good one wants to make peace. 

5.Conflict resolution and peacemaking are not the same thing.   Survival of all ecosystems including human ones and the balance of civilizations depends largely on unresolved conflicts.

The Peter Principle is it…

6. Very often in many civilizations important decisions are made by those certain to do the worst possible job.

A star quarterback is not also coach, referee and commissioner…

7. Beautiful young women of all types play a very important role in any healthy human culture but are not supposed to invent and police the entire role they play all by themselves.

Never use a hammer to kill the mosquito on your friends forehead  and never seek to be seen as the cowardly bully …

8. Maximum concentration of force is always bad policy. One want to use exactly the smallest force in any war which will achieve all desired objectives. The secret is not to have so many ideas based on false optimism and bad applications when estimating what is needed.

Those who always speak  in serious absolutes seldom say worthwhile things …

9. If war is not a game then do not expect anyone to win, don’t expect time out, rule discussions or referees. If war is not a game it is just slaughter and it is hard to understand what that really means — but I do.

“Let the little children come unto me. For of such is the Kingdom of God…”

10.  Many people do not ever want to be reasonable — not ever. However, none of those people are children.

The Other Side of this Blog: Discussing the Other Side of Me

I am writing this blog as a forty-six year old. I am sitting alone in a room where I often type these blog posts. It is because of this simple routine itself perhaps that I am inspired to write this post.  It is not so very easy to explain why I continue to blog the way I do. Perhaps it is not even easy for me to understand why I do it myself. Nonetheless, I am continuing to blog.  So I thought I would try to describe not only myself but also those parts of me that are most related to reasons why I am not deeply involved in any sort of public life.

It is certainly true that my own ability to describe myself is something less than perfect and total.  It is even more true that you and all my other readers have a limited interest in what I might be able to find to say or write.  I define myself mostly in terms of things that are not the center of my blog discussions. I sometimes  mention one or two things briefly from this category. However, only a few posts are examples of my having chosen to really attempt a portrait of myself in some verbal way. In this post I will attempt to discuss some things that I have not discussed in quite the same way elsewhere. It should not be surprising that much of the material will relate to other material in the blog if one is a serious reader of this blog. But it is not exactly the same sort of thing as discussing these things in the way I have up until now.

I wonder how possible it is for me to imagine describing myself to anyone who might actually have a legitimate interest in knowing me because of something that they have read in this blog. I am quite delighted to express the truth at this stage in my life. When the truth can be found it is easier for me to discuss it than almost anyone I know.  But I do not have a simplistic view of myself, the conditions of human life or the world in general.

One of the things that partly facilitates but largely complicates this effort is that a sort of complex record exists of my life to some degree. In other words if I generated enough historical interest to have a really professional biographer  try to put together my life story then there would be quite a bit that might still exist or not exist. First, there is the autobiography section of this blog. Second, there is the mention of me and the story of my family in my mother’s book Go! You are Sent: An Incredible Odyssey of Faith. There are the press releases and possibly some interview recording that were made when I received the Sophomore Class Award at Franciscan University of Steubenville and the similar if longer items produced when I received the USL  Alumni Association Outstanding Graduate Award.   There is a press release that was issued when I was named News Editor of the Abbeville Meridional in 1986. There is a handful of brief television and radio interviews and an even smaller group of longer ones that in some way or another asked about my life. Up until today these go from about 1980 to about 2005. Some I never heard broadcast and so cannot really verify that they have been. There is the biographical material I submitted for the Board of Regents Fellowship when I was preparing to do graduate work at Louisiana State University after I did receive that award. There is the biographical material that I submitted to Tulane Law School before being admitted there twice. In addition to all of this there are references to myself in things I have published about other people and events. At this moment many people who have known me quite well are still alive and able to speak well and probably have some documents that could be of use. I do not absolutely know that all these people are alive and not all would say favorable things but these are some folks that come quickly to mind. Tragically, some names of people I was very close to have slipped my mind and some others cannot be mentioned. In addition some others are women whose names will have changed although there is no rule here about which name I use for such women. Here is a list then:

Missi Summers Smith, Rachel Gremillion Broussard, Jed Gremillion, Brian Gremillion, Cecil Bruce Gremillion II, Clay James Summers, Charles Williams Massey IV, Dolly Marie Miller Brandt, Dannon Stokes, Dr. Philip Edward Noel, Dr. David Link Silar, Charlie Warner, Soane Paseka, Viliami Ufi, David Chapel, Larry Bordelon, David Dent, Myron Music, Christine Hebert Landry,Miguel Angel Barriga, Deianiera __________, Fr. Jim Mitchell, Benito Rodriguez, Bishop Carlos Talavera, Annabelle Vega, Michelle O’ Malley, Wayne Sebire, Henry Smith, Peter Smith, Anne O’Neil, Elizabeth Gallagher, Peter Gallagher, Cardinal Tom Williams, Dave Southey, Bishop Honesto Pacana, Cardinal Gaudencio Rosales, Benjamin Estrada, Dodong Batoctoy, Rudy Mercado, Tony Evangelista ,Melvin Valcorza, Mike Joseph, Laura Carloss Guidry, Dr. Allan Barry, Dr. James Stanley Cox, Dr. John Fiero, Steve Kroeger, Dr. Mark Roman Schultz,  Bill Schlick, Fr. Michael Scanlon, Michelle Denise Broussard Summers,  Ben Reed, Kathy Broussard,Brian Hollier,  Dr. Peter Reswebber, Fr. Richard Greene, Jonathan Turley, Jon Scialdone, Gabriel Sosa, Peter Wickersham, Walter Roper, Jim Rich, Lt. Governor Paul Hardy, Pat Slattery, Sharon McCarthy, Anna Mayes, Frank Harvey Bollich, Ray Simon, Monsignor Richard Mouton, Donna Lemaire,Kevin Daigle, Dr. WIlliam James Cooper Jr., Dr. Gaines Foster,  Greg Hospodor, John Marshall, Ben Price, Mary Hebert Price, Jack Paul Showers, Julie Anne Yannatta, David Widdoes, Blaine Saunier, David Dupuis, Ellen Arceneaux, Kevin Foote, Bruce Brown, Dan Macdonald, Robbie Dardeau, Red Lerille, Robin Gremillion, Gabriel Gremillion, Sheriff Michael Couvillon, Davis Frederick, Jabian Sellers, Scott Desormeaux, Xu Aina, Wang Guang rong, Liu Ting ting, Dean and President Song, Dean Edward Zhang, John T.Landry, Mayor Mark Piazza, John Bergeron, Bridget Khoring and there are many unmentioned. Such a list is useless to the casual reader of course. However, it could be useful to someone who wanted to try to piece together my life. I would not dream of taking the time and space to really identify these real people. In addition I want to say that I would not come up with exactly the same list on any two days.

So with a life that stretches across varied media and varied regions I have a lot of loose ends that keep me from  putting together a neat and coherent story that others might attempt. Beyond this simple complexity there is complex complexity. I am a person who has seen a goodly number of jails that I visited in Prison ministry or for lawyers or to help friends who were prisoners or for many reasons other than being an inmate. I was a youth minister that people unburdened themselves of their deep dark secrets to quite often. I have been a credited and uncredited journalist who followed stories into murky places. I have friends who told me they had abortions, smuggled drugs, were beaten by their fathers, had deadly diseases or had false identities who told few or no other people and whom I have never told upon or “outed” . I have had friends or acquaintances who secretly affairs, cross-dressed, smoked pot, or were fully professional cover agents in the Intelligence community. I have known prostitutes whose neighbors were unsuspecting of their ventures. Politically, my connections include communists, fascists, royalists, Klansmen, Greens and many others who are either not really committed to the mainstream parties they belong to or belong to parties far outside the US mainstream. Some are very much in the mainstream of their own countries and some are on the fringes overseas.   In my life I have been run off the road, shot at, bitten, hit with at least ten different objects, slashed by someone trying to stab me  and had dogs sicced on me — but those attacks do not exhaust the story. Oddly enough some of those responsible for those things are people I still have to deal with and relate to so that I am limited in what I can reveal in one way or another.

I am not now nor have I often been a very happy person. Nor am I a person who feels very succesful, lucky or prospered. While I am blessed with happy memories that I appreciate my mind usually goes to dark and dire memories if I let it run free. This is accentuated by the fact that I really do believe that lots and lots of things are wrong in this world.  I aspire to a wise activist stance. However, I do not always live up to my desired stance vis-a-vis the world.

As I read what I have written so far in this post I see that it skirts most issues and fails to explain why I am not running for some small office or teaching English in Japan. It fails to touch also on the effects that organizations of varied levels of secrecy have had upon my life. It fails to even allude to some burdens that I have long carried. It fails to name the brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews who are large in my view of my life and of the world. By accident of a few deaths and a few forgotten names my list has only one nun on it and she no longer uses a religious name nor Sr. as an honorific.  Then there is a whole cluster of celebrities whom I sort of know. How can you sort of know someone? Well if you were my constant companion you might find that this is the best description available for my relationships with these people.

All of this disclosure if taken seriously may make it seem that I really abhor lying. Unfortunately, I recall telling a fairly considerable number of lies along life’s road. I prefer the truth and have sacrificed for it but there are many lies I would not know how to take back if I could.

Partly I am documenting these things and others about myself because  a long time spent making better than could be hoped decisions and taking and beating very dangerous risks has left me more or less poor, tired and unsafe. It turns the mind repeatedly to mortality. In my case that sense of death’s nearness does not lead me to put a vast fortune in order because I do not have one. The impulse to put ones house in order is channeled into the narrative of one’s story. So while I do not retract any of the grandiose proposal I make in this blog it may be that they are rays of light thrown off of flickering wick closer to the end of its burning than to its middle. Or, I hope, I may be wrong. However, it is that sensibility that contributes to making me so different from change agents like David Duke, Al Sharpton, Ralph Nader  or lesser known local examples you may be thinking of. as you read this. I can type in this room for now. Beyond that it is hard to hope for much and be me at the same time.